A BIG SETBACK

Maybe you noticed I stopped posting?   I decided to give MODERATION another try.   I knew it was a bad idea.  Here was my logic.  I have been more obsessed about not drinking than I ever was about trying to control my drinking - why not try to moderate and then at least I can have some drinks now and again while I am obsessing!

Adding to this is my husbands insistence that all I need to do is establish a new routine and then after a while not drinking every night will start to feel normal.  He wants to be able to enjoy a drink with me two or three nights a week and of course I would really love that too.  

I have moderated my drinking in these last few weeks, but like you advised in one of your earlier emails to me, it is a path wrought with "hell and deprivation".  I read your Iguana post after yet another argument with my hubby about my wine consumption the previous night - he didn't think I should have ordered that third glass.  To him it is as simple as that.  Of course I thought I was doing great as I was really desperately wanting more than three.  The link to your Obstacle Course post was exactly the encouragement I needed.  I just want to know when does it start to get easier and is it really that much better?  I think the longest I have ever made it is day 30 or so.

Your blog alway rings true to me and so it is easy for me to trust your obstacle course post.   It is so hard to imagine never drinking again, but I know I can make it to day 100.  That is my goal for now.  And my hope is that once I am there then forever won't seem so scary anymore.  

Wish me luck.   I will share this email on my blog and start posting again.

DAY THREE - KEEPING MY EYE ON THE PRIZE

Neinwine